Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Do you Bob, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?

This November Mainers will have the chance to vote on one of the most talked about issues in many years to hit the ballets. The issue is that of gay marriage. As you may or may not know, Maine recently passed a law allowing same sex marriage and through the democratic process that we enjoy here we know have a chance to vote on whether or not we will keep this law as it stands.

It's no big secret that I tend to lean to the right politically but I have to say that I just don't understand the whole anti-gay thing in this country or the world for that matter. Maybe it is because my religious beliefs are lacking or maybe it is just the way that my brain works but I think that people who are gay are gay by design and not by choice. Gay people have continuously been persecuted throughout history and considering that, who in hell would choose to be gay. I hate the term 'lifestyle choice' because I don't think that being gay is a choice or a lifestyle any more than I think being straight is. If you think that a person chooses to be gay then it should be fair to assume that the opposite of that is true as well right? If think that gay people have chosen to be that way I have a question for you. When did you make the choice the be straight? At what point in your own life did you sit down and seriously think about what gender you were going to be attracted to? I had someone who believes that being gay is a choice tell me that they never chose to be straight they just always knew they were. I was like, 'Helllooooo, are you seeing my point here?'


Regardless of whether you think being gay is a matter of genetics or choice why should that matter if they are allowed to get married or not? I am so sick of hearing about the sanctity of marriage and how it is supposed to be between a man and a woman and all such other bullshit. The problem with all of this crap is that it is so steeped in religious background that the people who can't get through each day without their bibles cannot possibly imagine that the world isn't exactly as the good book tells them it should be. They spout off about the Bible being God's word and how God abhors gay people and that it can only be a choice because that's what the bible says. It's a dogma for them to consider that even though God made everyone and everything he couldn't possibly have created homosexuals because of his hatred for them. Somehow thinking of God hating anything goes against everything that I have ever learned about Christianity.

If the religious zealots of this land really want to protect the sanctity of marriage perhaps they should start by encouraging straight people who get married to stay married. What happened to the big uproar over people living together 'in sin'? That has been pushed to the side by the issue of gay marriage. Maybe the sanctity of marriage should be unions that last instead of ending up in painful divorces. In other words, don't point your fucking fingers at what other people want to do until you can get your own messes cleaned up.

I plan on voting to keep the law the way it is written because if two people want to be married regardless of their sexual orientation, then who am I to judge them. What power has been bestowed upon me or any other person to say whether or not someone can or can't get married just because they are gay? If the religious right would remember something from their Bible they would not be so righteous in their attitudes. That something states that a person should not cast stones unless they are free from sin themselves. How many people are truly free from sin according to the gospels in the Bible? Not too damn many if you think about it.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Can't you smell that smell?

Is there anything better than being able to type while watching and listening to music videos online? My sister-in-law bought us a new computer for my kid's birthday and it has a 22" screen which means I have enough room for several pages to be displayed at the same time. I am liking this a lot but you'll have to excuse me if I start typing about whatever song is playing currently.

To the topic of the day. Recently (By recently I mean within the last 3 months because time becomes pretty relevant to how many days a week I am working. Lately I have been working seven days a week hence the reason I am not posting here much.) I found myself in L.L. Bean's replacing yet another coffee mug with a broken lid. Bethie keeps telling me that I don't realize how strong I am and while I don't know about that I do know that I want the lids on my coffee mugs tight and leak free, and I think someone needs to make a mug that I can crank on as tight as I wish without worrying about breaking it because it is made out of plastic. Considering all that I will say that the mug is made by Stanley and is a double wall design and pretty much the best coffee mug I have ever used. It keeps my coffee hot for a ridiculously long time and that is why I have gone back for a new one every time I break one.

After I returned and replaced the coffee mug I needed to use the restroom before we left for home. I went into the bathroom that was closest to the fishing and hunting to make room for more coffee. L.L. Bean has decided in an apparent effort to be a green company that it would be in the planet's best interest to install water free urinals. Never mind the fact that many of the items on the shelves at Bean's are made in China which is one of the worst stewards of the planet on the planet. It's a little ironic isn't it? I love Bean's but what happened to only selling things made here in this country?

If you're not sure what a water free urinal is or how it works, it is exactly what it sounds like. The look is pretty much the same as a standard urinal but there is some sort of little cover where the drain normally is. The idea is that the urinal doesn't need to have any water and that piss will simply flow away, gone forever. The little sign on the wall claimed that the water free urinals save over 40,000 gallons of water per year, which sounds great in theory but lacks a little in truth as far as I am concerned. Water used to flush toilets or wash clothes and dishes isn't destroyed and will filter itself out as it flows back through the ground.


The problem that I have with the water free urinal is that they are also free of something else and that is being odor free. There is nothing worse than using a urinal and having to smell hot piss wafting back up at you. It's not just your own piss either but everyone else too as there is no fucking water to flush it all down. How about putting a nice urinal cake in there for target practice and then at least it would smell like something clean and not piss. Here's a better idea; how about using 1,000 of those 40,000 gallons a year saved to flush the urinals out once a day or whatever? If a company really cares about using less water then I applaud them but why go completely water free? What's next, water free sinks? Instead of nice hot water and soap they could just have industrial size tubs of Purell or some other such hand sanitizer. I don't care if the piss on my hands is germ free if it is still on my hands!


The real issue here is that companies like Bean's have figured out a way to drastically reduce their monthly water bill and still be able to play it off as something green and good for the earth. I would appreciate the water free urinals much more if they would just say that on the little sign I am reading as I try to hold much lunch down while bathing is pissy aromas.


I don't see myself running to the local Home Sleaze Hole to buy a water free toilet when these finally hit the market and you just know they will. The same people that are pushing the compact fluorescents down our throats will bring this to people's home as well. These people can't help it and I don't blame them for caring, but if they got regular jobs and stopped trying to 'save the planet' it would make my life a whole lot easier.

Friday, September 25, 2009

I wanna' live for never

Tonight we took the kids to see the movie 'Fame' which I assume is a remake of the original movie of the same name from the 1980. I don't remember ever seeing the original because I just wasn't into musicals then and even less into chick flick musicals. I know this may make you wonder if there are musicals that aren't chick flicks and to that I would have to say yes. 'Chicago' and the 'Producers' both are great examples of musicals that I would not consider to be chick-flicky at all. 'Mama Mia' on the other hand.....

As I said, I don't remember seeing the original so I cannot make a comparison to the remake but I am willing to bet that the original was better just the same. It had to have been better because if it were worse than the remake they never would have made the remake in the first place. Or should I say the second place?

See, when movie makers do a remake of a movie I fully expect the remake to be as good or better than the original if for nothing else than for better graphics and digital sound.

Today's 'Fame' was pretty lame. I better be careful or that poet is going to break out all the way and ruin your whole damn day. Oops, there it goes again, I'll try and do better my friend.

I will say this much about the new movie: The performances within the film were excellent and showcased the talents of many of the actors in the film. Having said that, the people who made the movie need to go back to school. In fact, it seems a little odd that the people who made a movie about young actors, dancers, musicians, and film makers could spend a few years in the very school featured in the film.

The problem with Fame is that it has no depth of character. The characters hardly get developed and what little insight we see into them leaves one wanting more. There is one character in particular that I kept waiting for to have this big emotional breakthrough and it just never happens. Not only does it not happen, but the director doesn't even make you think it happened. Another character reminds me of the typically ugly duckling because you just know that she is full of talent and you're going to see it break out of her before the movie is over. Unfortunately, while she can sing well, it isn't the kind of thing that will knock your socks off. For anyone who is still bound and determined to see this movie after reading this, I am not talking about the black girl who I thought was a wonderfully talented singer.

Well, that's my view and I welcome yours but I don't think I'll be buying this one when it hits the shelves, which I am sure will be in time for the holiday shopping season.

On separate note, I am trying to get back into the habit of writing here on a more regular basis but as I may or may not have said before, I am busy outdoors when the weather is good and I don't get to spend much time on here until the weather turns foul again. Like anyone gives a fuck right? Ha ha. I am so presumptuous sitting here thinking that people are actually reading this.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

A little slice of Mayberry part 1

I just saw a story on Yahoo news about the ten best places to grow up in this country. They listed ten towns and cities across the land which were picked based on safety and low crime and activities for kids to be involved in as they grow. They picked Boston as one of the ten because of its history but I don't know if it would have made my list because it isn't the safest place to live as an adult let alone raise children in. Any city that had an area known as 'the combat zone' doesn't sound all that kid friendly to me.

This list of good places to raise kids made me think of one more place that I would like to see added to it, and that is Maine. Not just a city in Maine or a town, but the whole state. Maine is one of those places where innocence still thrives and people can be who they want to be. I can't think of many places any safer to raise kids with the same abundance of activities. The difference is in the activities themselves. We don't have as many urban activity centers as other states do but is that such a bad thing?

Crime in Maine is at one of the lowest rates per capita in the nation with violent crime being equally low and that is a huge plus as far as raising kids goes.

http://www.mainespace.com/html/fun___facts.html

In Maine kids are more likely to be hurt riding on snowmobiles, dirt bikes, ATVs, or working around the farm or log yard than they are by some criminal activity. You never want to hear about any kid getting hurt but you surely don't want to hear about them getting killed because of illicit activities.

The problem with Maine as most people see it is that there aren't any jobs and parents are too busy to try and make their kids find things to do to occupy themselves. Kids are plugged in today and if they can't have their cell phones, Internet, and video games they just aren't interested in anything going on around them. Maine is a hard state to live in at times because of the job situation and the weather we get and the fact that so many of the good places to live are rural in nature and that keeps a lot of people away. Is that a problem? I don't think so. I think that if someone moves to Maine and can put up with the bullshit in order to reap the rewards this state has to offer than that means that person is serious about being here.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Things you won't see in Maine, hopefully.

A while ago I wrote about the ridiculous size of sunglasses and I wanted to touch base on that one again. I have included a picture that not only shows how big sunglasses have become but also how small bikinis are becoming as well. Observe:



This picture makes me think of several things and believe it or not they do not involve any fantasies I have about girls in bikinis in general or specifically. The first thing that I am wondering about is why even bother with this kind of bikini bottom? Any bottom that shows that much of your twat is not really a bottom at all but looks more like the girls put their thongs on backwards. (Isn't twat a great word? Not quite as bad as cunt but still nasty enough to put a funny taste in your mouth. Ooh, that's funny.) They are blonds after all and I suppose anything is possible, but consider this. Wearing a bathing suit like these would be like a man wearing a bathing suit that covered his cock but let one nut hang out each side of the fabric. While that would be equally as funny as this picture is, what would the point be? When you have reached the point where you are failing to cover up the things that a bikini is supposed to be covering up why not just go to a nude beach and frolic in the buff. These bikinis show more flesh and underpinnings than some lingerie out there. I’m not talking about classy and sexy lingerie either but the nasty shit you find in the back of skin mags. The stuff that may or may not have already been worn when you order it.

The second thing I think of is the way girls bitch about g-strings because they can’t stand the constant wedgie feeling, and I have to laugh at what these bathing suits must feel like. Ladies, when you split the hoof like that does it give you the urge to pick at it like you do your ass when your undies start riding up? I can’t imagine how you would begin to embrace the feeling of having your cracks flossed front to back like that. I will say that for the small percentage of women out there that don't mind that feeling than it must make for a pretty hassle free wearing experience, as everything that is riding up into nether regions is doing so by design and doesn't need to be picked and pulled at constantly.

The third and most important thing that I wonder about when I look at this picture is the guy on the towel in the background. What exactly is going on in his field of view short of total nuclear war that would distract him from the view that I am seeing in front of him? I realize that I have just made a couple points about how ridiculous these bathing suits are but I am still a guy and I would be staring like a monkey eyeballing an overripe banana in a four year old kid’s hand. I would be staring because as much as anything, you just don’t see something like that every day where I come from and frankly, you wouldn’t want to. That's where the title to this piece comes from. I say hopefully only because if bikinis like this show up on Maine's beaches it won't be girls like this wearing them unfortunately. We don’t call the plus sized girls around here BMWs for nothing, (BMW stands for Big Maine Woman) and the last thing I want to see is some chick with a huge old muffin top trying to divide and conquer her pussy lips with a piece of cotton floss. The funny thing is that with a big girl the strings on that bikini would disappear into more cracks and folds than just the front and back and she might end up looking like she actually was completely naked. A BMW can make a regular bikini bottom look like a damn thong just by virtue of the stretch factor so you can imagine the strain that would be placed on something like this stringy piece of nothingness.

On a final note concerning bikinis in general maybe someone could explain something to me. A girl will wear a bikini to the beach and run around all day picking the seat of her ass because the bottom is too small and adjusting the top because her tits are too big and not have a problem with any of it. However, take the same girl and put her in regular clothes and look at her be mortified if a button on her blouse is open and someone can see her bra. I wouldn’t think that a girl who wears some skimpy bathing suit at the beach or pool would mind her underwear being exposed which is usually a lot more conservative and a lot less revealing as a result. What gives?

Monday, August 17, 2009

The people have spoken...and continue to do so.

Well fuck-a-loo and how do you do, it looks like once in a while things can get better after they go to shit. Our wonderful new president, Barry Obama of Barry's Used Car Sales, has finally seen the light and is backing off from his socialized medicine plan for all. It seems that he is going to shift from forced government health care for all to some sort of coop health care whatever that means, but the real meat of the story is that he is finally getting the word that socialized medicine is not what the people want.

I think the real problem is not universal health care as much as it is that we Americans don't particularly like being told what we can and can't do and how and when and where it will all happen. This country was not founded on the government running our lives, in fact it was founded on the idea that those early Americans wanted way less government in their lives. How in hell did we go from wanting to be free of government rule to expecting Washington to babysit us all? The democrats have been busy shooting themselves in the foot for the past few weeks by saying some pretty outlandish things about the throngs of people that have been going to town hall meetings to oppose the idea of universal health care. They have called these people un-American, part of the KKK, and Swastika wearing Nazis, among other heinous things. Nancy Pelosi was the one who said it was un-American to be against this health care reform bill. The Dems have not been able to accept that maybe people just want to be heard and that maybe it's the majority of people who are talking the loudest about this particular item instead of the other way around.

As much as I think we could use better health care management in this country, I still believe that we have as good a medical service as any country in the world. I think all that will change if universal health care is implemented. Why do I think that? I think that because as bad as insurance companies can be at running things the U.S. government has proven hundreds of times over that it is far worse at running things. Right about now, I wouldn't put the feds in charge if organizing a birthday party for my kids. They're the assholes that would put the pinata up and forget to put the fucking candy in and that's who people want to run their health care program? Wow.

Here's a suggestion. If people really want to see how great 'free' health care is all they need to do is take a trip to Maine and see how great the 'Dirigo Health Care' plan works. Let's see, that joke covers about 13,000 people out of a population of over a million and yet it is still broke. Hmm, sounds like something we should do on a national basis to me.

On another good note, several items brought forth by Maine citizens will be voted on this November third so please remember to vote regardless of what side of a particular debate you may fall on.

Here are the items as they read on the state website:

An Act to Decrease the Automobile Excise Tax and Promote Energy Efficiency

“Do you want to cut the rate of the municipal excise tax by an average of 55% on motor vehicles less than six years old and exempt hybrid and other alternative-energy and highly fuel-efficient motor vehicles from sales tax and three years of excise tax?”

An Act to Provide Tax Relief

“Do you want to change the existing formulas that limit state and local government spending and require voter approval by referendum for spending over those limits and for increases in state taxes?”

An Act to Repeal the School District Consolidation Laws

“Do you want to repeal the 2007 law on school district consolidation and restore the laws previously in effect?”

An Act to Establish the Maine Medical Marijuana Act

“Do you want to change the medical marijuana laws to allow treatment of more medical conditions and to create a regulated system of distribution?”

Monday, August 10, 2009

Code Code Go Away

I think my cold is losing it's power and I couldn't be happier to report that because the last two days have been pretty miserable. I think the next time I get a cold like that I think I will find out if I can be put in a medically induced coma until the bug is out of my system. It sucks when all of your days off involve shivering on the couch even though it is in the seventies outside, only to start feeling better just before it is time to go back to work. I don't care what the optimists all say, life is crap and then some.

I had plans today to go to the sawmill and work on the pine some more but I just don't feel well enough yet. As it was I finished moving all the old firewood out of the way so I can start processing this year's wood and that just about wiped me out. I think that I could go and lie down now for the rest of the day and still sleep tonight.

I am going to drop the Subaru off today to have the little surprise done for Bethie. I will talk about the results of that after it is done and she knows about it in the off chance that she should happen to see this post. She doesn't often look at what I write though I wish she would because she could be a good critic if she would take the time to slosh through the tedious stuff. Maybe there isn't anything even worth having a critic for in the first place, but I have reread my own stuff from time to time and thought it was passable for something worth reading. I need to get back to some kind of regular writing but the thing is that I find myself only able to think of the hot political issues of the day and who wants to read that right? The problem with political pundits is that they are preaching to the people who already think like they do and they aren't very often going to change any one's mindset on certain issues, any more than I could change a racist's mind or a person that is anti-gay. I want to get back to writing about the things that make me laugh and have dialogue and short but simple meanings. I started the first couple of chapters of a book with the working title 'David' a few years back but it was just a little too hard to keep it going and the subject material was something that people may have seen a little too often. The story started to take the shape of a veteran from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan but that's not what the original idea was about. The original idea was about a man who was severely limited in a physical capacity but was able to become a hero just the same. It was going to be an action based tale but I wanted it to have some depth as well. I think all our true heroes are the ones that are basically average when not in costume and that appeals to us because it lets us know that sometimes the little guy can win. Anyway, maybe I will go back to that tale and see if I can utilize some of what is already written.

On another note we had a great vacation this year at the coast and it was sad to leave. The weather could have been better but considering the amount of rain we had through the month of May and June, the weather could have been a lot worse too. We went to the Owl's Head Transportation Museum this year and then to the light house of the same name and both were nice with the lighthouse being beautiful. The kids had a great time and we are already looking forward to next years trip. My hope is that we will instill in them a sense of tradition that they will want to keep doing when they are grown with children of their own. If I ever win the Powerball I will have a nice piece of property on Maine's coast so that we can preserve a little of our heritage before the rest of the assholes sell it all off to the idiots from away. Fucking people piss me off and life is crap. Did I mention that already?

Today's video link is called 'Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage' and is quite funny. Look for the sequel in the related videos section as well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0gb9v4LI4o&feature=PlayList&p=680F0EA3C9805D1F&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=39

Until next time...