Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Sky Is Falling, The Sky Is Falling!!!

I don't know if anyone realizes it or not but the end of the world is at hand. There are at least two movies coming out this summer alone that deal with a world ending event and what happens afterward. One of the movies is called '2012' and it is based on the prediction of the end of the world by the Mayans thousands of years ago. I wonder if they predicted their own demise as well? That would be funny if they dropped the ball on that one. Makes me think of going to see a psychic and having them ask you what your name is. You're the one with fucking esp you tell me what my name is. I think if you can afford to blow the long dollar on a psychic your name may be BigMoney Hungwell. I should be a psychic and charge two hundred dollars per hour. Then each and every client I had I would tell them that they need to watch their wallets because they are going to lose some money very soon if they aren't careful. I wonder how many people would be able to see through that one. I know that for every person that was able to there would be at least a dozen that would buy it hook, line, and sinker.

I am not saying that I don't believe in psychics because that would be a lie. I believe there are plenty of people out there that have some extra sensory powers and they know who they are. Unfortunately, there are plenty of scammers out there too that are more than happy to rip people off.

The other movie is called 'The Road' and it is more about what happens to the few survivors left after the word is destroyed. A couple years ago it was 'I Am Legend' and 'The Day After Tomorrow' was before that and now we have a few more doomsday flicks coming.

To me this proves that the recipe for movie making that was set in the seventies and eighties by the people that made 'Mad Max' and 'Road Warrior' is alive and working just fine.

For one thing, I don't think that the world is going to end in some cataclysmic event that rains fire on us and causes the oceans to boil and blah blah de fucking blah blah blah. I will say that it's a hoot to think about it happening because all the Christian fanatics out there say it isn't true and because Christianity can be the only true religion they can't be wrong right? Of course if they are they will just say that it is God working his wonders in his mysterious ways I guess.

The reason Christians can't get their heads around the idea of the world ending by Mayan prediction is because it would create a dogma for them. There is no way possible that a group of people that predated Christianity could predict the end of the world with their false religion and that just gets their panties all up in a bunch.

Anyway, movies like this are good for the people that think the world sucks and that mankind is to blame and they are more than happy to buy into the belief that something like this will happen. There will always be people that claim the end of the world is coming but they are only half right. The end of people is coming but no one knows when. The world will be here a long long time after we're wiped from the planet. The Earth doesn't give a fuck about us and when we've gone the way of the dinosaurs the planet will go back to whatever passes for normal and things will just start all over again. In another million years of evolution who knows what kind of being will be supreme on the planet.

In the meantime, how about some funny movies from Hollywood? I don't need to go to the theater to see how shitty the world is, I live here. Make me laugh, or cry if you think you can. Show me something powerful that doesn't involve the end of the Earth. If the end of the world is coming in a little over two years there isn't a damn thing that can be done about it now so who gives a shit about that. I am going to keep on keeping on until the end comes or until I get old and die wondering why the end didn't show up sooner.

Friday, July 10, 2009

The running of the mentally deficient

A man was gored to death today at the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. It seems that a bull became separated from the crowd and the experts of bull running call this a rogue bull. (That almost matches my pen name here by the way.) A rogue bull is more dangerous, according to rogue bull experts, and more likely to charge people than when running in the pack.

I don't know about you but I like to think that any bull that weighs 1,300 pounds, has 18 inch horns, and a bad attitude to boot is more dangerous and more likely to charge people whether it is a rogue bull or not. It's my fight or flight instinct kicking in. In other words I can't see placing myself in front of a herd of charging bulls on purpose. That seems like the shit you dream about when you've had too much cheap wine to drink. The only difference being is that in the dream you'd be running with the bulls in your underwear.

It's unfortunate that someone died today but it drives home Darwin's theory of evolution. It's not only the survival of the fittest but sometimes the smartest as well. There is a phrase that goes something like, 'Strong like bull, smart like rock'. Well, when you're smart like rock but not strong like bull, and you decide to put yourself in the middle of a herd of really pissed off bulls...what do you expect?

How do you preside over that funeral if you're the minister? How do you not call the man a fucking moron for running with the bulls. There are tons of ways to die that don't involve getting trampled and stabbed by a pissed off cow with huge pointy horns; I just don't see the point. See the point, get it? I kill me.

What really matters is that these people keep doing what they are doing to reduce their carbon footprint on the planet by fucking dying. The problem is the moron replenishment rate is far higher than the mortality rate.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Independance Day!!!!

Happy Fourth of July Folks. Please go out and help celebrate the things that America was founded on in the first place.

No ranting about the state of the world or the country on this great day. Just please watch this video about nearly naked fireworks. There is a spot about 48 seconds in that made me laugh till I almost pissed my pants. This story is the way news would be reported every day if I were kind of the freakin' world Baby!