Monday, March 1, 2010

Liquid gold part 1

Today is March 1 and is the first canning of the 2010 maple syrup season for me. I think I will end up with close to a gallon of syrup when as is said and done. I need to hit the shower and go to town to actually get the canning supplies and then get back here to finish everything off. The temp. didn't drop very low last night so I don't think the sap will flow that well today but there is hope for clearer skies and colder temps tonight.

I will update this post later on with the results from the canning.

Sunday, February 28, 2010


I just saw an article for a magazine printed here in Maine called 'Flannel' and I was disappointed when I saw that it was about art and artists and not every Maine woman's favorite sleep wear. I think it would be fitting to have a periodical about that and maybe throw in something for the men too. We could call it 'Rough and Fuzzy' with all the articles being about those two Maine staples; Carhartt and Flannel.

The Canadians beat the U.S. in overtime for the gold medal in olympic hockey and my congrats go to both teams for their efforts. I think it would be more fitting to have a tie breaker game as the U.S. already beat Canada last week but that's probably why I am not in charge of the olympics and others are. The U.S. goalie deserves extreme praise for the amount of shots he blocked before finally letting one get by him.

I'm watching the thermometer and hoping it dips a little tonight so we can get some sap flowing but I think I will be ready to can some off tomorrow either way.

More later.....till then.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I'm back...I think.

Whew, it's been a long time since I visited the old blog huh? I guess that happens when things get busy and I stop looking for things to write and bitch about. Well, I just found something to complain about again as hard as that may seem to believe.

We need a new phone in a bad way. Our phone handsets have about had it. The battery in one of them won't keep a charge and neither of them have a display that you can read anymore. Having said that I will say that both of the these phones have worked flawlessly as far as actually making and taking calls go.

So what is there to complain about? Looking at all the new phones out there as well as my own I can't help but wonder who it is exactly that designs these things? Take a look at your cordless phone and tell me if that looks like the kind of thing that was made to hold up to your ear for any length of time. Most phones are designed to look exactly like most TV remotes and I can't see talking into one of those things. These phones are uncomfortable as all hell and why? Is it because the designers think that consumers want everything to be made like tiny cell phones? When phones were corded and more full size they were at least more comfortable to hold up to your ear for more than five minutes.

I think that when we buy the next phone set, we will have a head set to go along with it because I know those are pretty comfortable and it frees the hands up for whatever.

This is a short post but I have tried to get it down and keep it flowing. I will write again soon.

Oh, by the way, I put in my maple syrup taps the other day, on 2-22-10. I put in 79 taps this year and was able to collect 40 gallons of sap the next day before the weather went to shit again. I'm curious to see what happens with the weather as this is the earliest I have ever seen taps go in. If we get a cold spike that will be fine, but if the weather just slowly warms up and the nights maintain a temp. close to the days that will be the end of it. I will be pretty bummed out if I end up with less than a gallon of syrup but I'll be glad that I got anything at all as I am almost out of the stuff.

More on the sap experience and other things next time.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

What's in the news today?

Don't forget to breathe a little less so you can help reduce the amount of man-made carbon in the air and lower your carbon footprint as much as possible. One thing is for sure and that is that there is a lot of hot air on the subject of global warming. See Arnold Schwarznegger versus Sarah Palin for this one. I wrote about this so I won't continue to bitch but I will say that I wish I had some of those people preaching climate change right here right now so we could have afternoon tea out in the balmy 19 degree weather.

What else is in the news? Ah yes; Iraqi insurgents have figured out a way to hack into the video streams sent by Predator drones so they may see the areas the drones are flying over and be able to avoid attack themselves. What incredible piece of technology are these people using to break the U.S. military's highly encrypted video and audio code you ask? It's a thing called a 'Sky Grabber' and it was designed to take video, audio, and Internet signals out of the air. It was developed by a Russian man who said he never thought of it being used to capture military intelligence at all. That sounds very plausible when you find out that the military DOES NOT ENCRYPT THEIR VIDEO CODE BEING SENT BACK FROM THE DRONES!!!! Jesus, where do these people go to school? They knew about the problem as far back as the 1990's when the drones were first employed in Bosnia, but the Pentagon in its infinite wisdom decided that enemy forces would not figure out this weakness and be able to exploit it. How arrogant is it to think that your enemy (one you cannot name and cannot destroy) won't be able to figure out something so simple that a $26.00 piece of hacking equipment can break into it? Pretty fucking arrogant is my thought. The good news is that I am going to order a Sky Grabber and see if I can watch some illegal porn on my TV. Bethie, if your reading this, I'm just kidding about watching porn and I only wrote it for comedic effect.

Chris Henry, a receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals has died after being ejected from the back of a moving pickup truck he was riding in which his fiance was allegedly driving. It seems there was some sort of domestic dispute between the man was referred to by a judge as a 'one man crime wave" and his beautiful bride to be,(Loleini Tonga)and he jumped in the back of the truck as she was peeling out. Looking at her postings on her MySpace page and it doesn't seem possible. Based on her firm grasp of the English language I would have thought that these two would be the co-heads of the local Mensa group. You have to try damn hard to write shit fucked up on purpose you know that? Like writing 'dis' instead of 'this' or 'gangsta' instead of 'gangster'. Ironically, Miss Tonga had written on her MySpace page how good God is recently. God, apparently didn't get the message and let her drive off with her boyfriend in the back of the truck bouncing around like some illegal immigrant getting smuggled in over a bad road. So much for being an NFL wife now Honey.

The Vermont Supreme court is looking into a case that will decide just what a pet is worth to families. A couple whose dog was shot and killed after straying onto a neighbors yard is suing the man in much the same way parents would file a civil suit against someone for the loss of a child. While it is certainly sad to have something like this happen to a beloved pet, these people that don't have children need to stop thinking that their animals are the same thing as kids. I can tell you right now that until you hold a child in your hands that you made with another human being you just won't get it, but once you do, you'll know exactly what I mean. It becomes instantly clear to you that a pet is a wonderful companion, but it isn't a child. It's rather insulting to me when someone thinks their dog or cat is the same thing as a child. That is a person that has no sense of perspective and needs to seriously look at the way the really real world is. This couple in Vermont has decided that the 76 year old man who shot their dog with an air rifle needs to be punished financially and not just to cover the cost of the vet bill and cremation service for their lost dog. I hope they don't have any other animals roaming around the streets. I would hate to get sued if I ran over a cat because these two think Mitzy the walking flea bag is as important as a child. Don't get me wrong, I am not a hater of animals in the least. I have a dog and have had cats. My sister just lost a cat to a tumor and I know how much she loved little Abbey. I loved her, she was an awesome cat and deserved to be loved as much as you can love any pet. I am just saying that it irks me when someone thinks that an animal is on the same level as a child when it comes to love and life and death.

That's all for now, I need to go have a nappy before work tonight.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

There's a lot of hot air in here

Am I the dumbest asshole that ever walked the planet or is it most everyone else? Do the majority of the people you know actually believe in global warming? I am guessing they don't spend too much of their time in the northeastern part of the U.S. because if they did they wouldn't feel none too fucking warm most of the time.

Anyone else notice that it isn't even called global warming anymore? No, the figurers who do all the figuring figured they would have an easier sell if they changed 'global warming' to 'climate change'. I don't buy into any of it but it seems extraordinarily weak to me. If you really believe the planet is heating up and you really believe it is because of mankind then stick to your convictions and say so. I think they started calling it climate change to counter people like me who argue that warming and cooling trends are part of the planets natural cycle and that neither is more dominant or prevalent than the other. In other words, it gives them an answer no matter what and it makes their argument seem infallible.

Last week or thereabouts it was revealed that e-mails had been stolen from a scientist who supports the argument of global warming. Those e-mails suggest that more than a little of the information about climate change was exaggerated if not outright false. The main stream media immediately went into action as did a few senators but it was not to talk about the audacity of scientists who would make something up to fool the public. No, they decided it would be better for their public image to lay the blame on the person who stole the e-mails in the first place. Of course this was after all these same media outlets ignored the story and didn't have anything to say until Jon Stewart of all people broke the story on his editorial style comedy show. That's sad. Basically, the rest of the media was embarrassed into saying something because otherwise it would like they missed the story or just didn't want to report the news. It's funny how those news groups have gone from reporting the news to reporting what they want to report and then only with their specific slant on it.

It's sad that these people can't accept defeat when they are not supposed to be trying ti win anything. They are only supposed to be reporting the news as it happens and saving the opinions for people like me that are free to report with any slant I want to put on a story.

At least they still have the cap and trade tax to support. God people, if you do anything at all during the next year, get familiarized with cap and trade and realize just what that means. It sounds all warm and fuzzy to say that we're going to tax the use of petroleum fuels because we want to save the planet and all, but folks need to realize that, based on other countries that have taxes similar to this one, a lot of the money generated by the tax will just go to the general fund to be used as the government sees fit. That's crucial, because then it just becomes another tax and not a tool to actually implement change in anything.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tigers, and Snow, and Albinos oh my!

Well, after a week and a half of some pretty crappy stomach pains it seems that maybe my no shit dilemma has resolved itself. I hate to say that prematurely, but the fact is that I certainly and not having any trouble with the old number 2 these days and my stomach is not hurting like it was. I still have no idea what the problem was and I don't care as long as I don't have to go through that again.

I don't think that I mentioned this before but I saw my first real live albino a few weeks ago while driving. It was like looking at a teenage version of Edgar Winter. I thought how much it would suck to be that much different from everyone else because albinism only occurs in about 1 out of every 3,000 people. I will say that Maine is a hell of a good place to live if you're an albino because the weather is so fucking shitty here so much of the time you won't have to worry that much about sun exposure.

It's supposed to snow tomorrow and to listen to the weather reports you'd think that no one in this state ever saw a flake of fucking snow. It happens every year and yet, we still hear about how bad and treacherous every storm is supposed to be. God, I wonder what the TV stations in Maine see for extra revenue during the winter months. The number must be pretty high because every time the skies cloud up all we hear about is 'storm watch' this and 'weather alert' that. I think the grocery stores and gas stations are in pretty tight with the TV stations and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if there is a fair amount of kick back going on. Anyway, run out to the store and stock up on bread because this whopping 5-7 inches we're supposed to get might just incapacitate everyone until mud season.

I just saw Cindy Blodgett during the sports segment of the news and all I can say is, "Holy spike-dyke Batman." A spiky blond lesbian cut on a face that isn't all that attractive to begin with is just not a good look. Cindy Blodgett has never been a pretty girl to begin with but now she just looks like a bull dyke in search of a lipstick lesbian china closet to thrash around in. What a hot ass mess.

Does anyone actually give a fuck about Tiger Woods and the mess he's gotten himself into? I know I sure as hell don't. In fact I find myself laughing when I think about the time that some of the media outlets are devoting to such a fucking non-story. Helloooooooo, the economy is in shambles, the president associates with known communists, and soldiers are dying overseas and here we are worrying about Tiger Woods and what gold diggers he's sticking his cock into? Really? We're in trouble folks when shit like this even makes the news considering what else is going on that could and should be talked about. Oh well, at least Tiger takes the spotlight off Obama and his follies for a little bit.

If you like the old children's classic Christmas special, 'Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer', then please let me recommend another great show to you. It is called, 'Rudolph, the Five-Legged Reindeer' and it is destined to be a classic as well. Here is the link: (Oh, I should mention that this is slight adult content and not for the kiddies. Be forewarned.)

Until next time, enjoy this video and Merry Christmas Mother Fuckers!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Holy Shit Batman! (I wish)

Has anyone ever eaten a 10 pound cheese wheel in one sitting and survived? I feel like I have done that. I can't shit. It's been days since I had what I would call a normal event on the hopper.

I think someone snuck into my room at night an hooked me up to an I.V. of Wisconsin Sharp or maybe a Cheese Wiz slow drip.

Right now I am trying one of the older more homemade remedies for this problem and that is, molasses and hot water. I have no idea if it will work but it actually tastes good enough to be habit forming. I would not think that anything that moves as slow as molasses (which admittedly, moves faster than I do most days) could help to flush the body out but I am willing to try it.

The next step will be to go to the dreaded medical community for help and that scares me right shitless. (Pun definitely intended.) Those ray-tays are apt to tell you they need to give you an enema and end up re-sectioning part of your guts for you. I hate to shit on the hospital in Skowhegan, but they don't call that place Ready To Scare You instead of Redington Fairview without reason. Holy crap I can't believe I just said I hate to shit on that place. I have really got poop on the brain it seems. Damn, I just said poop.....and one sentence. What the shit is going on?

My grandmother. who actually likes the place, had to have a couple rings cut off her fingers there and they didn't have a doctor or tool qualified to do the job. Hey, ever notice how the words doctor and tool are sometimes interchangeable? Anyway, they had to call in the maintenance man with his Dremel tool to cut the ring off. She got burned and blood poisoning and holy shit don't take me to Skowhegan.

I am off to the bathroom to see what develops although I am not expecting mush. I mean much.