This picture makes me think of several things and believe it or not they do not involve any fantasies I have about girls in bikinis in general or specifically. The first thing that I am wondering about is why even bother with this kind of bikini bottom? Any bottom that shows that much of your twat is not really a bottom at all but looks more like the girls put their thongs on backwards. (Isn't twat a great word? Not quite as bad as cunt but still nasty enough to put a funny taste in your mouth. Ooh, that's funny.) They are blonds after all and I suppose anything is possible, but consider this. Wearing a bathing suit like these would be like a man wearing a bathing suit that covered his cock but let one nut hang out each side of the fabric. While that would be equally as funny as this picture is, what would the point be? When you have reached the point where you are failing to cover up the things that a bikini is supposed to be covering up why not just go to a nude beach and frolic in the buff. These bikinis show more flesh and underpinnings than some lingerie out there. I’m not talking about classy and sexy lingerie either but the nasty shit you find in the back of skin mags. The stuff that may or may not have already been worn when you order it.
The second thing I think of is the way girls bitch about g-strings because they can’t stand the constant wedgie feeling, and I have to laugh at what these bathing suits must feel like. Ladies, when you split the hoof like that does it give you the urge to pick at it like you do your ass when your undies start riding up? I can’t imagine how you would begin to embrace the feeling of having your cracks flossed front to back like that. I will say that for the small percentage of women out there that don't mind that feeling than it must make for a pretty hassle free wearing experience, as everything that is riding up into nether regions is doing so by design and doesn't need to be picked and pulled at constantly.
The third and most important thing that I wonder about when I look at this picture is the guy on the towel in the background. What exactly is going on in his field of view short of total nuclear war that would distract him from the view that I am seeing in front of him? I realize that I have just made a couple points about how ridiculous these bathing suits are but I am still a guy and I would be staring like a monkey eyeballing an overripe banana in a four year old kid’s hand. I would be staring because as much as anything, you just don’t see something like that every day where I come from and frankly, you wouldn’t want to. That's where the title to this piece comes from. I say hopefully only because if bikinis like this show up on Maine's beaches it won't be girls like this wearing them unfortunately. We don’t call the plus sized girls around here BMWs for nothing, (BMW stands for Big Maine Woman) and the last thing I want to see is some chick with a huge old muffin top trying to divide and conquer her pussy lips with a piece of cotton floss. The funny thing is that with a big girl the strings on that bikini would disappear into more cracks and folds than just the front and back and she might end up looking like she actually was completely naked. A BMW can make a regular bikini bottom look like a damn thong just by virtue of the stretch factor so you can imagine the strain that would be placed on something like this stringy piece of nothingness.
On a final note concerning bikinis in general maybe someone could explain something to me. A girl will wear a bikini to the beach and run around all day picking the seat of her ass because the bottom is too small and adjusting the top because her tits are too big and not have a problem with any of it. However, take the same girl and put her in regular clothes and look at her be mortified if a button on her blouse is open and someone can see her bra. I wouldn’t think that a girl who wears some skimpy bathing suit at the beach or pool would mind her underwear being exposed which is usually a lot more conservative and a lot less revealing as a result. What gives?
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